Fringe Benefits
by comicbooklovergreen
Summary: TSCC/Fringe crossover. Sequel to 9 Crimes and You'll Be Strong Tomorrow. A lighter day in the lives of Sarah and Olivia. Olivia accidentally ingests drugs meant for Walter, forcing Sarah to deal with a very stoned FBI agent. Femslash. Not Jameron.


**Author's Note: **Hey all. Been awhile, but I've been wanting to get back to these two for a long time. As to the tone of this particular story…yeah. Summer puts me in a weird, non-angsty mood. Call this my answer to the 'episode 19's' of Fringe. You know, the ones that were always weirder than usual, even by Fringe standards.

This takes place in the same universe as '9 Crimes' and 'You'll Be Strong Tomorrow,' a few months after the last story ended. I've also been writing a partially-finished oneshot that's closer to what I usually do with these two (romantical angst) which would fill in part of the gap between 'Crimes and YBST. So if you want to see that, feel free to yell at me until I finish it.

Reviews are always good, so please leave them on your way out.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, we'd still have a show. And several films. And books. And comics.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home."

Sarah blinked. Blinked and stared, knowing her mouth was hanging open. Standing just over the threshold to their shared home was Olivia Dunham. Looking very, _very _stoned.

Peter was supporting the blonde on one side, half-carrying her through the living room. Nina Sharp of all people was to Olivia's left. The blonde poked and prodded at Nina's arm, taking no notice as Walter and Astrid edged in behind her.

"What the hell?" Sarah asked as her lover was led into the brownstone. She'd had roughly thirty seconds warning of their arrival, and Peter hadn't said why he was rushing Olivia home. There'd been voices Sarah couldn't hear properly and muffled swearing. And giggling.

Giggling.

Until now, Sarah thought she was wrong in attributing that sound to Olivia.

"Okay, "Astrid said, closing the door behind them and turning to Sarah. The look on her face was something between apology and plea. "First of all, I'm so, so sorry. Second, don't panic, everything's fine."

"Is it?" Nina asked as Olivia attempted to bend her arm at the elbow. "Is it really?"

"It _will _be fine?"

Sarah didn't miss the question in Astrid's voice. Walter procured a stethoscope and tried to listen to Olivia's heart, stepping around the redhead still trapped in her grip. Astrid and Peter alternated between staring at the walls, the floor, and a point over Sarah's right shoulder. "One of you talk," she ordered, using a tone she usually reserved for gunfights.

"You tell her," Peter said finally.

"I _always _tell her," Astrid retorted. "He's _your _father."

"Exactly. Haven't I been punished enough?"

Looking uncharacteristically put out, Astrid squared her shoulders, addressing the taller woman. "Olivia's a little drugged."

"A little?" Sarah repeated. Olivia was now swaying on her feet and humming to herself. "How the hell did she get 'a little drugged?'"

"Do you have to ask?" Peter said, finding his voice now that the worst part was out of the way.

Sarah didn't. "Walter. What did you do to her?"

"Nothing deliberate," the scientist replied. "You see, we were having lunch. I ordered a tuna melt with extra mayonnaise. Peter wants me to switch to something healthier but I-"

"Am I supposed to care about this?"

"Walter sprinkled one of his 'recreational supplements' on his sandwich after we got back to Massive Dynamic," said Peter. "The bags got switched, Olivia took his lunch, therefore Olivia took his drugs."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Walter asked while checking Olivia's pupils. "I've never gotten to test any of my combinations on a female of Olivia's age group before."

"Walter," Nina said before Sarah could respond. "Not on a female of Olivia's age group? What does that mean, exactly?"

Peter looked between Nina and his father, eyes rolling heavenward when he understood Nina's concern. "Walter. Have you been using the interns as test subjects again?"

"They get paid," said the elder Bishop. "Why make them clean out test tubes and beakers when they could be doing something useful?"

"Walter," Peter groaned, jaw clenched. "We talked about this."

"Not to worry son, Nina. I have them sign all the proper liability forms now."

Sarah stared at him a moment before crossing the room and shoving him aside. "Wonderful," she said coldly. "Wasn't the Cortexiphan enough for you?" Cupping Olivia's face in her hands, Sarah glanced at Nina, who was standing too close for comfort. "Why are you here?"

"Lovely to see you too," Nina replied. "Amusing as this is, I assure you my presence isn't voluntary. I stopped in to see what was happening, and Olivia became very fascinated with my arm. I chose to let her drag me from the building instead of getting the security team involved."

"It has lasers," said Olivia, speaking up for the first time in minutes. "I know it has lasers built in, but she won't show me." Blinking hard, Olivia favored Sarah with a bright, unfocused smile. "Hey you. When did you get in?"

Sarah chose not to tell Olivia that she'd been here the whole time. Or that Olivia was poking at Nina's undamaged, non-robotic arm. "Liv. Are you okay?"

Olivia grinned. "I'm fine, baby. Singing in the rain. Soaking up the sun…soaking in the rain."

And then Olivia fell forward and kissed her. It was sloppy and rough, but passionate. Sarah only managed to extricate herself when she felt the blonde's hand on her ass. Very aware of the crowded room, Sarah eased Olivia back. She tried to speak, but the blonde was quick to cut her off.

"You don't love me anymore."

She was pouting. Olivia Dunham was _pouting_. "That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not. We just can't do this now."

"Why?"

"You're…sick."

Olivia shook her head slowly, grin back in place. "Not true, babe. I've never felt better."

'Babe' was repeated by Astrid and Peter, both sounding shocked. Nina merely shook her head, wearing a bemused expression as she backed out of Olivia's reach. Sarah was too stunned to speak, and Walter had drifted away long enough to grab pen and paper from the kitchen counter. Turning to the blank side of a grocery list, he busied himself scribbling notes.

The drugs must not have affected Olivia's eyesight, because she saw the list, pushed past Sarah and the rest, and cheerfully declared she was hungry.

Sarah watched in surreal fascination as her lover took a jar of peanut butter from the pantry, twisted it open, and began eating from it with a wooden spoon. "What's happening here?" she asked, mostly to herself.

"I believe our Olivia has a case of the munchies," Walter replied, still making notes. "Pity. I'd hoped this blend would do away with that side effect."

"Because that's clearly the biggest problem we have right now," Peter drawled.

For lack of a better option, Sarah rounded on Peter. "Aren't you supposed to watch him?"

"I can't watch him every second of the day," Peter retorted.

"One lunch. Not even work. Lunch. And you bring her home like this."

"You think I planned it? Trust me, this isn't something I was shooting for. Everything was fine. I look away for two seconds to get napkins, suddenly Olivia's trying to swim in the tank."

Sarah blinked, mouth dropping again. "She did _what_?" Then another thought. "Since when did you need one of those things in the Massive Dynamic lab?"

Peter rolled his eyes. "Walter got nostalgic. You honestly expect me to make sense of how his mind works? Thought you knew that's a lost cause."

Sarah swore to herself. "What happened exactly?"

It was Nina who answered. "When I arrived, Olivia was stripped to her underwear, attempting to climb into the empty tank. Astrid and I got her dressed again. That was when she became fixated on my arm."

Sarah looked at Peter, eyes narrowed. "You couldn't have stopped her before she stripped for you?"

"Oh don't worry, my dear," said Walter. "It's nothing he hasn't seen before."

Peter's face reddened under Sarah's scrutiny. "Thank you, Walter. You're not helping."

Olivia spoke up from her place in the kitchen. She was licking the wooden spoon, and there were splotches of peanut butter on her shirt. "Don't fight. I hate it when everyone fights."

"We're not fighting, Olivia." That came from Astrid. She spoke as if she were talking to a small child. Or Walter on one of his tantrum days.

"She's right," said Nina. "We're just having a discussion."

"Good," Olivia replied after a moment's consideration. "We're all here, we're all friends, we shouldn't fight. Everyone listen to Ashtray and Nina."

"_Ashtray_?" the younger FBI agent repeated, horrified that the mutilation of her name was no longer confined to Walter.

From his place next to Astrid, the scientist leveled a disapproving frown at Olivia. "_Astrid_, dear, her name is _Astrid_. I understand that you're having a very powerful experience right now, but honestly. It's a simple enough name, and we've known Miss Farnsworth for years."

"Considering that this 'powerful experience' is your doing," said Nina, "I don't think you have room to criticize, Walter."

Olivia turned her hazy smile on the redhead. "Thank you, Nina. You're a good friend. Sarah used to think you were a robot, but I told her you were probably human."

"_Probably_ human. How kind of you," said the redhead, eyebrows raised.

Olivia nodded, completely missing the discomfort on Sarah's face. "She used to talk about shooting you in the head. A lot. I asked her not to."

Nina took a second too long to answer. "I appreciate your making the request."

Sarah fantasized about putting a gun to her own head. She wouldn't have felt quite so bad if Nina hadn't had Christmas dinner here last year and given her son a job. And there was the cabin. She couldn't forget about the nice, peaceful, expensive cabin. Green eyes found the older woman's. "It was a long time ago," Sarah said, the closest she could get to an apology.

"Of course it was," Nina replied evenly.

A bit too evenly. Sarah was consoling herself with the thought that things couldn't get any worse when Savannah came through the door. She was talking before she crossed the threshold, an ice cream cone in her hand.

"Hey. I called to see if you wanted anything, but you didn't answer your phone. Uncle James said to tell you…" Savannah trailed off, getting a proper look at what she'd walked into. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words never came.

Abandoning the peanut butter, Olivia crossed to the girl, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Hey sweetheart! I missed you."

"I…missed you too?" Savannah replied, voice muffled. The ice cream in her hand was crushed between them, most of it landing on Olivia's shirt. "Aunt Liv? You're kind of…I can't breathe."

Astrid was standing closest. With a few murmured words, she coaxed the blonde into releasing Savannah. She was more used to dealing with drugged up co-workers than she'd ever planned on being.

No longer impeding Savannah's respiration, Olivia stroked her fingers through red bangs, kissing her temple. "Sorry, sweetheart. I'm just glad you're home."

Wide-eyed, Savannah did her best to remove the peanut butter from her cheek and hair, saying nothing.

"Are you okay? Did you have a good time with James? You're not talking. Did he upset you? I'll kill him if he upset you."

Savannah's mouth dropped open. "Wait…what? You want to kill Uncle James?"

Olivia chuckled, stroking Savannah's hair again. "We'll use Nina's laser arm. She'll aim, but you can push the button. You're old enough to do that now." Olivia said this as though she was imparting a gift. Then her eyes fell on what remained of Savannah's ice cream cone. "Oh, you brought desert! Good girl."

Savannah watched mutely as Olivia snatched away what was left of her ice cream and wandered to the other side of the room. Then she stared at the others, waiting for someone to talk.

Sarah closed her eyes for a moment, counting to five in her head. "Come here," she said finally. Savannah did. Melted ice cream stained her clothes, and there was still peanut butter in her hair. Before Sarah could muster an explanation, a small thud had the entire group turning.

Having chewed through her cone in record time, Olivia now sat Indian-style on the floor, in front of their stereo system. She was using both hands to search through the CD changer, shaking her head periodically and throwing discs over her shoulder.

"Didn't she have those things alphabetized?" Peter asked the group at large.

Sarah nodded, voice flat. "And sorted by genre." Olivia had found odd ways to cope while Sarah was sick.

Savannah watched the display, her back to the brunette. . Only when she felt Sarah's hands on her shoulders did she manage to form a sentence. "Aunt Sarah?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I hurt myself. I think Uncle James and I crashed on the way back here. I must've banged my head on the dash or something."

"You didn't."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"So…this is actually happening. This is a real thing."

"Yes."

"You sure?"

Sarah squeezed the girl's shoulders, wincing as a group of dairy-stained CDs flew in their general direction. "Relatively."

Savannah nodded. Slowly. "Walter?" she asked, though it was half-statement.

"Give the lady a prize," Peter said. "Walter, how long before this stuff wears off? Walter!" He had to repeat himself because Walter was still engrossed in his note taking.

"I'm afraid that's impossible to determine," the older man said finally. "This is a highly experimental blend, and depending on Olivia's weight and metabolic rate-"

"The man with the genius IQ is clueless about his own drugs," Sarah interrupted. "That's what you're saying."

"There's no need to get testy about it," Walter retorted. "Besides, it's not as if she's causing any real damage."

"Really? Then why don't I drop her off back at your lab and see what she does to your precious record collection? She can not-cause damage to your stuff instead of ours."

Walter went quiet, but Astrid chimed in. "Please don't do that. I'd have to clean everything up, then he'd have a breakdown and make a bigger mess, which I'd also have to clean up. Just, please don't."

Sarah sighed. "Relax, Astrid. It's not your fault."

"Because it's all _my _fault?" Peter asked.

"Give the man a prize," said Sarah.

"Why does Astrid get off the hook then?"

"Because I like Astrid more than you. And because I bet Astrid tried harder to stop Olivia's little strip show."

"You're not going to let that go, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Savannah interrupted, eyes flitting between the two. "Aunt Liv got naked for Peter?"

"She had underwear," Peter corrected.

"Because that makes it _so _much better," Sarah snapped.

Sensing she'd get no answers from her original targets, Savannah turned her attention to Nina. "Are they serious?"

"I'm afraid so," said the elder redhead.

"You saw this. You saw Aunt Liv in her underwear?"

Nina inclined her head.

"And…she wants to use your arm as a death ray?"

"She used the word 'laser' but essentially yes. She also seems to think it has the ability to produce teargas. She spent the duration of our ride here trying to test that theory."

Savannah frowned. "It _can't _though, right?"

"No, dear. It can't."

"Just checking," Savannah said with a nod. Then, after a moment's pause. "It'd be cool if it could."

"Yes, I suppose that's true. I'll get the engineers on it."

Savannah went quiet again. And then a slow grin spread across her face. "She stripped for Peter."

"She wasn't doing it specifically _for me_," Peter interjected.

"In front of Nina," Savannah said as if she hadn't heard him,. "She's totally going to _die _of embarrassment."

Sarah couldn't deny the truth in that statement, but she wasn't sure it was healthy for the girl to look so gleeful over Olivia's imminent humiliation. "What the hell did you dose her with anyway?"

"My formula?" Walter said, answering one question with another. "Oh a little of this, a pinch of that."

"Specifically, Walter. Because this," Sarah indicated Olivia, who'd found a CD she liked and was now concentrating on putting it in the tray. Backwards. "This isn't normal." The brunette's eyes found Astrid's. "Was she like this…before? The other time?"

Frown lines knitted the shorter woman's face, then her eyes widened with comprehension. "Oh. No, not at all. She was out of it, but not like this. Though now that I think of it, that singing in the rain line she used on you sounds familiar. Yeah, she definitely said that."

"Excellent!" Walter scribbled the observation down as if it mattered.

Savannah, increasingly frustrated with being behind in the conversation, looked to Astrid for help. "What other time? What are you talking about?"

"Never mind," Sarah said sharply.

"Never mind," Astrid repeated in a gentler tone that still spoke of finality.

"Ah," Walter said, smiling as he looked up from his notes. "You're referring to the time when Peter and Olivia did LSD together."

"_What?" _

Sighing at Savannah's exclamation, Astrid shot Walter an angry glare she knew wouldn't be noticed. "It was for work, sweetie, for a case."

"A case," Savannah repeated. "Do all FBI people have to take LSD for cases, or is it just you guys? And when was this, where was I?"

Sarah was gritting her teeth so hard she feared she'd need dental work. "It was years ago. After I met Olivia, before we switched basses and came to Boston. Nobody told you because it was nothing you needed to know about."

"That's not fair!" Savannah retorted, a rare whine in her voice. "You never tell me anything. I found out about time travel on my own, you only told me about the other universe because you didn't have a choice, and I just now hear that Aunt Liv and Peter do drugs together? For _work_?"

"_Did _drugs together," Peter corrected. "Once. It wasn't like a routine thing we did on Casual Friday."

"Well how would I know?" Savannah asked. "What else haven't you guys told me?"

"Oh plenty," Walter said cheerfully.

"Walter!" The admonishment came from everyone in the group.

"Okay," said Savannah. "Maybe this'll be faster. Which one of you _hasn't _done drugs?"

Astrid put up a hand. Sarah did too, after a few seconds. The pause wasn't unnoticed. Ready to shoot something, Sarah threw her hands up, glaring at those around her. "What?"

"Nothing," Peter said promptly. "You just…don't seem the type."

"Aunt Sarah?"

She was going to have an aneurysm, could feel it building behind her temple. "I was a different 'type' when I was nineteen. It was the '80's, what do you want me to say?"

"The '80's," Walter said fondly. "Wonderful time for drug use."

"I don't think anyone's asking you to defend yourself, Sarah," Nina stated.

The words were neutral enough, but Sarah still stared hard at the redhead. "You're not surprised. Why aren't you surprised?"

Sculpted eyebrows lifted. "As you said, you were a young woman in very different circumstances back then. It's hardly shocking that you engaged in some youthful experimentation."

Sarah kept staring. "You had a file made, didn't you? Somewhere in your office, you have a categorized list of all the times I smoked pot with my college roommate."

Nina seemed taken aback, but only briefly. "First of all, that file no longer exists, I shredded it years ago. Secondly, when I asked for the information, you'd just gotten through ransacking my office and accusing me of being a cyborg bent on global domination. That you had a history of drug abuse seemed a logical conclusion."

"Three times! Three times in my entire life, I did marijuana. You call that a _history of abuse_?"

"As I said," Nina answered calmly, "I'm not judging you. I also said that the file no longer exists."

"That's not the point!"

Sarah would've gone on in detail about what the point _was_, if not for the ear-splitting whistle that had them all jumping. When they looked at her, Olivia was on her feet again, still near the stereo, arms crossed. "We," the blonde said almost evenly. "Are not going to fight."

"Olivia, we're not-"

Olivia waved off Astrid's words and kept talking. "We've been to hell and back together, we've survived the trip, and we love each other, dammit! Do you know what that means?"

They didn't.

"It means," Olivia said, "that we're going to have a party!" To prove the seriousness of her declaration, Olivia turned on the sound system she'd finally managed to work. The strains of ABBA's 'Dancing Queen filled the room.

"Splendid," Walter enthused. "I love parties."

"We're not having a party," Sarah stated.

"But I love-"

"Walter!" she snapped. "There's no party."

"Yes there is," Olivia argued. "I live here too, and I say there's a party. You can't always be the controlling one in this relationship, Sarah."

"I'm not… Sarah stopped, made herself breathe. That blood vessel in her head was going to burst any minute. She was going to drop dead in her living room with a fucking ABBA song to send her off. "Why do you think we need to have a party, Olivia?"

"Because we're not dead!" Olivia said happily, arms spreading in an expansive gesture. "We should all be dead, and we're not. We're here, so we're going to celebrate that. I have cheese dip in the cupboard."

"Nice," said Peter. "Whenever I decide to celebrate the miracle of my continued existence, I always go straight for the cheese dip." To Astrid, "No drugs, really? Not even in college?"

Astrid shrugged. "I was boring in college. Is this where you criticize me for not being one of the cool kids?"

"Hardly," Peter replied. "We'll just have to appoint you as the only decent role model Savannah has, I guess."

"And you consider that a change from how things are already?"

"Hey guys," said Savannah. "That's a glass table. This could get bad."

The coffee table _was _glass. Olivia had climbed on top of it. She was swaying in a way that looked to be dangerous, lip syncing to the lyrics.

"How clever," said Walter as Olivia mimed placing a crown on her head. "Look everyone, dancing _queen_. Isn't that.-"

"Shut up, Walter," Sarah ordered, pushing past him. She heard Savannah's voice over the music as she moved away from the others.

"I know this is beyond messed up, but it's also the best thing ever."

Sarah would've snapped at the girl if she could. For now she had to focus on the thirty-seven year-old woman on her table. "Get down, Liv," Sarah said, holding out her hands.

"Miss me, do you?" Instead of taking Sarah's arm, the blonde lifted her own hand, brought the fingers to her mouth, and blew Sarah a kiss. "Miss you too, sexy. Why don't you come up here and join me?"

Behind her, Sarah heard Savannah again, a combination of awe and fear in her voice.

"This is so, _so _not right."

"Liv," Sarah said. "You're going to break the table. Then you'll break your neck. And then we'll have to go to the hospital. I'm sick of hospitals."

"I won't break my neck. I like _your_ neck. I really, _really _like your neck. Did you repaint?" the blonde asked. "Things look different from this angle."

She hadn't painted the place since they bought it. "Yeah. Surprise."

"Oh baby, it looks great. You should've told me though, I would've helped."

"My mistake. It'd help me out a lot if you got off the table. Please."

Olivia went still. The glass creaked ominously. "Well if you're going to beg about it…"

Olivia stepped closer to the edge, hands on Sarah's shoulders. Sarah took the blonde's waist, breathing a relieved sigh when she was on the ground. "Thank you."

Olivia took one of Sarah's hands, kissing it. "Anything for you, babe."

Peter spoke from the other side of the room. "This would be really sweet if not for the hallucinogenic drugs."

"Seriously," Savannah agreed. "By the way, she's used more cutesy names in the last five minutes than I've ever heard her use. Ever. It's creepy." Creepy or not, the girl reached for her phone, intent on documenting the spectacle.

"Put it away," Sarah ordered, back to Savannah as she led Olivia to the couch.

Savannah froze, the cell halfway out of her pocket. "What the hell? How did you see that?"

The brunette was having difficulty getting Olivia to sit down. Nina filled in the conversation gap. "Venturing a guess, I'd say the years of paramilitary training had something to do with it."

"You have a file on that too?" Sarah asked, pushing gently on Olivia's shoulders. "On all the people I trained with? You know how many bullets it used to take for me to hit a target?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

Sarah cursed aloud. Olivia told her to stop causing a scene at the party. She cursed again. "It's called parenting," she said, feeling the need to get the last word with Nina. Then she was distracted by Olivia's repeated questions about how she managed to paint the rainbow patterns on the ceiling so quickly.

While that was happening, Peter addressed Savannah. "I'm surprised it took you that long to try for the recording."

"I was in shock."

"That's no excuse, young lady," said Walter. "It is the shocking events in life that we must react quickly to, take note of." He was still writing things down. "Now, did someone mention cheese dip? I never did get to finish my sandwich back at the lab."

Astrid advised him to stop talking. Savannah spoke to her guardian, the coherent one. "It's not like I'm going to throw it on Youtube. It would just be for me."

"Liar," Sarah replied. "When John gets back from seeing Reese, you're not showing him anything. You're not _telling_ him anything. Him or James."

"You can't be serious. There's no way you're serious."

"How often do I joke?"

"You can't enforce that. Don't you get sick of all the secrets?"

"Not this one."

"Its fine," said Peter. "I'm seeing James later in the week. Word will get around."

Sarah fought to keep her hands from clenching too tightly on Olivia's shoulder-blades. She'd known logically that there was no way to halt the spread of Olivia's embarrassment, but she had to try. Even if the woman in question was currently making her absolutely insane. "Go to hell, Peter."

Astrid stepped in, again utilizing her experience with drug-crazed colleagues. She got Olivia to sit down and _calm _down enough to stay relatively still. She also brought a cloth for Olivia's hands.

"Thank you so much," Olivia said after the younger woman finished cleansing the remnants of the blonde's eating binge. "You do too much. We don't thank you enough, any of us." In the time it took to blink, Olivia's thoughts changed course again. "I love your hair," she said, touching newly-clean fingers to Astrid's curls. "The texture of it, you know? You can do so much with it. I can either let mine hang or put it in a ponytail. But yours, yours is…jumpy. Fluffy. Fluffy and jumpy."

Astrid fidgeted on the sofa. Very aware of Sarah's gaze on the two of them, she carefully eased Olivia's fingers back. "Um…thanks. I'll tip my hairdresser extra next time."

"You should refer me. My hair's just…" She spent several seconds looking for the words. "It's as flat as one of Sarah's pancakes."

Olivia giggled at her own remark. Sarah, who'd been backing away from the couch, froze in place. Savannah sucked in a breath as the last strains of ABBA entreated her to dance and jive. "Oh my God," she said breathily, stepping closer to Peter. "They're going to get a divorce."

Peter squeezed her shoulder "They're not getting a divorce. Unmarried people can't end non-existent marriages."

"You know what I mean. She insulted the pancakes. They're going to break up."

"No they won't."

"Sarah's going to kill Aunt Liv."

"Possibly," Peter admitted, an edge in his voice.

Sarah clenched her fists, nails biting into her palms. "Walter," she said in a too-calm voice. "You said you don't know. _Guess _how long it will take for the drug to leave her system"

The older man frowned. "Maybe a few hours, maybe three times that amount."

"So you really don't know. I knew you didn't know. Point for me." Green eyes found blue as Sarah looked at Savannah. "You're leaving."

"I just got here," Savannah protested.

"And now you're leaving."

"During this? This is amazing. You can't make me miss this, it's not fair."

"Stop talking about fair. Life isn't fair."

"And by life you mean parenting? _Your _parenting?"

"Exactly."

"Are you going to kill Aunt Liv after I leave?" To Nina, "If she asks to use your death arm to kill Aunt Liv, you'll say no, right?"

"I imagine so, yes," Nina replied.

Sarah scowled at Savannah. "I'm glad you're having such a good time." To the whole group, "One of you take her, I don't care which. Just get her out of here."

"Thanks," Savannah muttered. "That's a really nice thing to say. My self-esteem is through the roof now."

Sarah closed her eyes, almost praying for that aneurysm to hit. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure. Fine, Whatever."

"It's okay," Peter said. "She can hang with Walter and I."

Savannah looked Sarah and the Bishops. "Yeah…about that…"

Peter's eyebrows knitted together. "What? You hate me as much as Sarah does now?"

"No! And she doesn't hate you."

"Actually, I hate most of you right now. To varying degrees," Sarah stated.

Savannah stepped closer to the brunette, voice low and pleading. "Walter said this could last awhile. What if I have to stay over there? You promised I wouldn't have to do that anymore. You _promised_," she emphasized before glancing back at the Bishops. "No offense, I swear."

"I'm afraid I don't see the problem," said Walter.

"The problem," his son replied, "is that you can't always remember that clothing is important, Walter. Savannah probably doesn't want to stay the night and risk being treated to a vision of your bare ass as you go for your fourth midnight snack. That about right, Savannah?"

"Yeah, that covers it."

"Right," Peter said as ABBA gave way to Bryan Adams reliving the Summer of '69. "I know it's horrifying. Just remember that we've all been exposed to the same thing. We feel your pain."

There were nods all around. "Unfortunately it's true," said Nina. "I believe we've all seen more of Walter than we would've liked."

Walter made an annoyed sound, glaring at the redhead. "Really, Nina? What of that first summer after graduate school?" Walter paused, listening to the song. "'69 I believe it was. I don't remember you complaining about my body then."

That declaration brought a shocked sort of half-scream from Astrid. The unshakable Nina Sharp blushed fiercely. Sarah swallowed against a bad taste in her mouth. Savannah clamped her hands over her ears and made gagging noise while Peter dug his fingers into the skin of his forehead, as if he could extract the memory of what he'd just heard.

"Well," he said, "there's the answer to a question I never, _ever _wanted answered."

"Oh shut up all of you, stop acting childish," Walter ordered. "Nina was and is a smart, stunning woman. She has needs, just like the rest of us."

"No she doesn't!" Savannah argued, the hands on her ears failing to blot out the conversation. Still, she kept them covered as she looked at Nina's left shoulder. "Sorry. I'd feel better if we pretend that you don't."

"That's fine," said Nina, face the color of her hair. "I think we'd all feel better that way."

"Oh please," Olivia said from the couch. "Walter's right, stop being such babies. I think it's great. Way to go, Nina!"

"Please make her stop talking," Savannah begged. "Don't let her encourage it."

"It was a magical time," Walter explained. "Man's first walk on the moon, Woodstock. So much to celebrate. The sexual energy was pure-"

"Waiter!" Nina barked. "We… agreed not to talk about this with other people."

Walter waved that away. "Oh Nina, these aren't people, these are our friends."

"Friends don't torment each other like this," Astrid said, head in her hands. Bryan Adams played on, oblivious to the horror.

"Walter…that was a long time ago," Nina said, struggling with the words.

"Time is relative Nina, we both know that. We spent hours discussing it, remember? Usually right before the-"

Nina practically hissed Walter's name, cutting him off. Peter asked someone in the group to shoot him.

"Walter," Nina said. "Another thing we both know is that if there hadn't been a liquor store so close to campus-"

"Are you attributing our unions to Boone's Farm? _All _of them? In the old physics labs? That beautiful night beneath the statue of John Harvard? Were they _all _products of inebriation?"

"God," Astrid said miserably. "Do you know how often I've passed that statue? I've _posed _by that statue."

"Boone's Farm?" Savannah repeated.

"Old, cheap booze," Peter explained, voice strangely devoid of emotion. "Learn from this. Drinking leads you here. You don't want to be here."

"God no," Savannah agreed. To Sarah. "I'll leave, I'm done arguing. Please let me leave; just don't make me go with Walter. I can't handle going with Walter, especially now."

"I don't think anyone can at this point," Sarah replied, slightly nauseous. "You don't have to go with Walter."

Astrid stood up, crossing to the others without looking at Walter or Nina. "You can come back to the office with me, Savannah. I'll teach you how to read coded ransom notes."

Savannah offered her a quick, fierce hug. "You rule. You were always my favorite. Can we go now?" A slight pause. "I still have peanut butter in my hair," she said, touching her bangs. "Screw it, I don't care, can we go?"

"I genuinely hope so," Astrid replied as the girl pulled away.

"Go," said Sarah. "Escape while you can. Actually, everyone. I can't take anymore. All of you get the hell out of my house."

"Does this mean there's no party?" Walter asked. "I so love gatherings."

"Not now, Walter," Peter chided. "Savannah's birthday is next month. Assuming Sarah wants to speak to any of us again, there'll be a party then."

"Hey," Savannah said, addressing Peter as he began herding his father out the door. "You remember that thing you did, the mind, chant thing so I wouldn't have as many nightmares?"

"I do indeed,"

"You have any mind tricks that could help me get _that_," she indicated Walter and Nina with her eyes, looking at neither for more than a second, "out of my head?"

"Sadly I don't think any of my power of suggestion stuff will work on that. I'm considering a self-lobotomization to clear the image. I'll let you know how that works." He halted in front of Sarah. "I'm sorry. Honestly. I should've kept a closer watch on him."

Sarah sighed, slow and weary. "I guess it was inevitable. Lucky we avoided it for this long. I'm still mad about the stripping."

"Clearly. In my defense, she's insanely fast at taking her clothes off. Though you probably know that."

"Don't push it,' Sarah warned. To Walter, "Is there anything else I need to know about what your new concoction might do to her?"

Walter thought about it. "If she declares herself able to fly and attempts to jump out a window, prevent it. She can't actually fly, no matter how fervently she tries to convince you otherwise."

Sarah closed her eyes. Nodded. "Olivia isn't a bird. Noted."

"Sarah," he said, tone changing. "Are you very angry with me? I'm sorry. You must understand that I'd never intentionally harm Olivia."

Sarah sighed again. "I know that, Walter. It was an accident. I'm not mad." The last was a stretch, but she managed it.

"Are you sure? You can hit me if you like, I know I deserve it."

"I'm not going to hit you, Walter."

"But you can!" he insisted, turning the left side of his face in her direction. "Just do it from this angle, please. There's a filling on the other side of my mouth, and that dentist is a sadist."

"I'm not going to hit you, Walter. Don't tempt me."

Walter smiled, turned his face again. "All right. I shall see you at Savannah's party then?"

Sarah didn't want to think about having all these people in the same room again. And in only a few weeks. "You shall. Just don't bring anything to share. We'll cover the food."

Agreeing to this, Walter pocketed the notes he'd made on Olivia's behavior, offering Sarah her pen back. She took it, thought of stabbing Silberman a lifetime ago, wished she could repeat the maneuver. It might help with the stress. As the Bishops left, Nina was the next to pass on her way out the door. "I apologize," she said. "For the file."

Sarah shrugged. "You sure it's gone?"

"Positive. All copies, paper and digital, were destroyed."

Sarah nodded. She'd already known the answer. "It was a long time ago. Sorry about…" she made a vague hand gesture.

"Wanting to kill me?"

"Yeah. That."

"It's hardly a shock. You made your feelings fairly obvious. And as you said, it was a long time ago."

"So, we're good then?" Sarah asked, hating that she respected the woman enough to care.

"Of course." A pause. "Sarah, what Walter said. I'd appreciate it if-"

The brunette cut her off. "You never want to talk about it again."

"Precisely."

"Neither do I. And I'd like it if we started the not-talking now."

"So would I."

"Great."

Nina made her exit. Astrid came next, Savannah standing nearby. "Sorry. Again."

"Not your fault. Thanks for trying to mitigate the crazy."

"Ever since Fringe, that seems to be 90% of my job description."

Sarah inclined her head. "Speaking of. Olivia's supposed to be back at work in twenty. Could you…?"

"I'll talk to Broyles," Astrid promised. "He'll understand."

"Why?" Savannah asked. "Did he get accidentally drugged up too?"

Sarah and Astrid said nothing, not quite meeting Savannah's gaze.

"Are you kidding?" the girl asked. "_I_ was kidding." To Astrid, "You so need to tell me more about this."

Astrid smiled indulgently. "You sure you don't want to do something about the peanut butter before we go?"

Savannah touched her bangs, made a face, looked at Sarah. "I know what I said, and I know you're kicking me out, but she has a point."

"Thirty seconds," Sarah replied.

Savannah bolted before the words were fully out. Sarah watched her retreat to the hallway. "You're going to tell her, aren't you?"

"Not if you don't want me to," said Astrid. "But if I tell her about Peter and Broyles, it might take some of the heat off of Olivia."

"Point," Sarah conceded, looking at the younger woman with genuine curiosity. "How did you work with Walter so long without ingesting anything yourself?"

"I don't know, really. I just learned not to eat or drink anything he offered me. You know what they say about never leaving your drink unattended at a bar?"

Sarah nodded, vaguely aware that they were comparing Walter Bishop to a date rapist.

Astrid frowned, thinking about it. "It took awhile, but I guess I developed a healthy sense of paranoia."

"That, I can relate to."

Savannah came back then, stopping gracefully in front of them. Her hair was wet, and there was a backpack over her shoulder. She had five seconds to spare. A smile tugged at Sarah's lips. The kid knew how to move fast, though she hadn't had to do it in a long time. That at least was something positive Sarah learned today, that Savannah wasn't out of practice. She tried to think about that instead of Walter and Nina, with only marginal success.

"I packed in case I have to crash at Astrid's," Savannah stated. "You'll call me, right? When Aunt Liv…turns into Aunt Liv again?"

"I'll call," Sarah promised, adjusting the pack and kissing Savannah's temple "Be good."

Olivia spoke then, surveying the room as if she'd never been there before. "Where did everyone go? Savannah, you're leaving too?"

"Don't get up," the redhead said quickly, afraid of another chokehold hug from the blonde. "I'll be back soon."

"But what happened to the others?" Olivia pressed. "What happened to the party?"

"The cops broke it up?" Savannah said uncertainly when there was no response from Sarah or Astrid.

"Did they? Bastards."

"Oh my God," Savannah said, a grin on her face. "She's totally…she's _totally _gone. I've never even seen her drunk before. _You _I've seen drunk."

"Savannah," Sarah cautioned, voice dangerous.

"What? I'm not saying anything about it, it only happened like, twice. Three times, maybe. But Aunt Liv, she _never-_"

"All right," Sarah stated. "Show's over, you're leaving now."

"I know," Savannah replied, a tad defensively, Then her tone changed. "I have to tell Ella. Why didn't I think to call Ella yet?" She retrieved her phone, hitting a speed dial number. "Feel better, Aunt Liv," she threw over her shoulder as Astrid nearly shoved her out the door. "Don't jump out any windows."

"Love you!" was the enthusiastic reply, Olivia offering a shaky wave to Savannah's back. "Listen to Astrid. And don't watch any R rated movies!"

Once the door was closed and locked, Sarah turned the music to more tolerable levels. John had programmed the thing, which meant she was close to clueless about its workings. She wanted to hit the machine until it shut up, but didn't want to put up with the resulting fit that would come next time John visited.

Sarah then went to the kitchen, cleaning up the mess of peanut butter Olivia left on the counter. There was nothing she wanted from the stainless steel fridge, but she leaned her head against it's cool surface, trying to ward off a headache. Or what might actually _be_ an aneurysm.

"Fuck," she swore, bracing her hands against the fridge Her nails scraped on the metal, but she didn't care. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she repeated without much inflection.

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asked, the cheerful question floating across the newly-quiet room.

Releasing a slow breath of air, Sarah closed her eyes, left her head against the fridge. "Infinity. All the alternate universes and alternate timelines, alternate universes _within _alternate timelines. The fact that somewhere tangled in all that mess, there has to be a _normal _version of me. A me who doesn't have to deal with things like shapeshifters and robots."

"Cyborgs," Olivia corrected.

Sarah seriously considered bashing her head against the fridge. "A me who doesn't have to see you carried in here by a man you used to be in love with, and that man's father, who performed unethical experiments on you when you were practically a baby, and is now giddy because he accidentally got to do it again. A me who's allowed the luxury of being put off by all this, and doesn't have to accept it as par for the course, just another day in the life. "

A long silence followed before Olivia's reply. "I was thinking about the exact same thing. What are the odds, huh?"

"What are the odds?" Sarah repeated, not really asking.

"I wonder about that too, you know, the infinity thing. And we were thinking of it simultaneously. It's like we're sharing a brain."

Sarah hummed in agreement, privately horrified at the idea of seeing what was going on in Olivia's head at the moment.

"I bet I'm a horse person in another life," the blonde continued. "A jumper, you know, who makes the horse jump over things."

"Really?" Sarah asked. She was somewhat interested, only because she'd hit on an image of Liv on a horse, the up and down motion involved. Boots. Equestrian gear.

"Yeah. And I think I'm Australian. Australians have nice beaches. And accents. Great accents."

"Uh-huh."

"So what are you? What does the _normal _version of you do in this other life?"

"I haven't thought it out that much."

"Oh come on. I told you mine."

"You sound like a twelve year old at a slumber party."

"Tell me about the other you," Olivia insisted.

"I don't know, Liv. Hopefully the other me doesn't have this headache."

"What else? Where do you live, how many pets do you have, what do you do?"

Sarah snapped, the absurdity finally getting to her. "I own a fucking flower shop!" she said, the first thing that came to her mind.

Another long pause. When Olivia's voice came back, it carried unmistakable hurt. "You don't have to yell at me, Sarah."

The urge to bash her brains out against her fridge increased. Sarah counted to five. Then ten. Then fifteen. This wasn't Olivia's fault. She wished Astrid was still here. At least wished that she hadn't fled the room every time Walter got like this. Never mind that she would've killed him if not for the strategic retreat. "I'm sorry, Olivia." Sarah pushed off the fridge as she said it, turned. Made sure Olivia could see her face.

"You're forgiven," the blonde said. "But you could never run a flower shop. Doesn't suit you at all."

Sarah breathed. Concentrated on doing it. "No. So what _does _suit me then? Would I be the one mucking out the stalls while you make horses jump over things?"

"You'd be with me. I don't know much beyond that, we'd figure it out. You'd just have to be with me."

Sarah blinked, a slow smile curving her lips. It was such a simple answer. Olivia said it like it was obvious. It probably was. "You're right," Sarah replied, stepping away from the fridge and closer to her lover. "I _would_ have to be with you."

"Of course you would," said Olivia, her own smile turning decidedly wicked. "And while we discussed career options for you, you could help me with my riding skills."

This was accompanied by a suggestive finger movement that brought Sarah's jaw closer to the floor as she entered the living room. "Christ, Olivia," she said, caught between amusement, arousal and exasperation.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just watching Walter's drugs kill every bit of subtlety you have."

"I brought you to my bed the first night I met you. How subtle was that?"

"That was…different."

"Why?"

"Because it was."

"Why?"

"We were both miserable that night. And reasonably sober."

"Sober? We met at a bar."

"I said reasonably."

Olivia nodded, considering this. "I _did _drink a little. Couldn't have let anything happen with you otherwise." In a cheerful, decisive voice, "I should drink more."

Sarah made a noise in the back of her throat as she knelt by the pile of dirty CDs. "Why, so you can pick up more strange women in bars? You might say I'm controlling, but I think I'd have some objections to that."

"Did I call you controlling."

"You did," Sarah confirmed, stacking up the discs.

"When?"

"Five minutes ago?" Sarah guessed. "Less, probably. I feel like I've fallen into a bizarre version of hell, so my sense of time might be a little off."

"I did that? I didn't mean it."

"Didn't you?"

"Well, I probably did. But really, we're both control freaks so we kind of cancel each other out."

"I see." The sad part was that she did. She was picking up discs that probably wouldn't work again when Olivia stood up from the couch. The blonde kept smiling as she walked on shaky legs, coming dangerously close to falling into the table.

"_Dammit_," Sarah hissed, fear sharpening her voice as she dropped the CDs. She made the trip to Olivia's side in a quick, fluid motion, wrapping tight arms around her partner's waist. "Are you _trying _to hurt yourself?"

"Why would I do that?" Olivia wondered.

"I have no idea, but you're making a hell of an effort."

Olivia shook her head, languidly winding her arms around Sarah's neck. "You'd never let anything happen to me."

The utter certainty there was enough to force Sarah into releasing a shaky breath. "I wouldn't," she agreed. "Doesn't mean we need to test the theory."

Olivia kissed Sarah's jaw fingers playing with the ends of dark hair. "I don't want to test you, I want to dance with you."

Sarah's eyebrows went towards her hairline. "Dance. You want to dance."

"Yes, I do."

"Last time we did that, I had to drag you onto the floor. Thought you'd pull your gun to get away."

"That was before, I didn't think I liked dancing before."

"And you do now?"

"I like it with you. Gives me an excuse to be close to you."

Sarah rolled her eyes, smiling at the same time. "Like you said, we met at a bar and had sex the same night. You've never needed an excuse."

"Well, maybe I just want to dance then. If you don't want to, I could try the table again."

Flashing on Walter's warning about birds and windows, Sarah pulled away enough to lead Olivia out of the space between couch and table. "You're not dancing on the table," she said, halting by the stereo. "And I'm not dancing to 'Crazy Train' with you," Sarah added, referring to the song that emanated softly from the speakers. "No matter how well it applies to what's happening."

"I'll fix it," Olivia declared. One hand still entwined with Sarah's, she checked through their music selection in a less destructive manner than before. Finding something she liked, Olivia let Sarah help her get the disc playing, upping the volume a bit. "Dance with me?" she asked in a voice that was only slightly slurred.

"If it keeps you off the table," Sarah replied, warmth warring with bemusement as she helped Olivia to the middle of the room where they'd have more space. "Same rules as last time," she said, tightening her grip as the blonde swayed prematurely.

"We had rules?"

Sarah, steadied the other woman as Olivia settled in her arms. "You hang on, I navigate. You didn't trust yourself to do it last time, now _I _don't trust you."

"Liar," Olivia said, letting her head fall to Sarah's shoulder. "You trust me. You've _always _trusted me."

Lips curving against Olivia's neck, Sarah laid a kiss there as the blonde leaned into her. "Right again. You dance fine by the way, when you let yourself relax." Sarah wouldn't have chosen for Olivia to be _this _relaxed, but she'd decided to make the best of a ridiculous situation.

Olivia's laughter tickled Sarah's ear. "I'm hardly dancing; you're doing all the work. Not that I've ever minded when that happens."

Sarah fought back a shiver, amused and aroused by the uncharacteristic flirting style. "Who's the band?" she asked, rubbing slow circles on the small of Olivia's back. The CD was one of Olivia's, and Sarah couldn't recall hearing the song before.

"Candlebox," Olivia supplied. "'Breathe Me In.'"

"Is that a request?"

"It's the song name."

"I know, Liv," Sarah replied, having picked that up from the lyrics. "I was joking."

The blonde hummed an acknowledgment, gently raking her fingernails against the base of Sarah's neck. "And if I wanted to fulfil the request anyway?"

"You're stoned, Olivia."

"I know."

Sarah pulled back enough to meet green eyes. "Do you?" Olivia hadn't shown the slightest bit of awareness of the state she was in, or how she'd gotten that way.

"Of course I know. I'm higher than the fucking space shuttle. One of the good ones," she added after a moment's pause. "The ones that didn't blow up. I don't want to be one of the ones that blew up."

"No. That would be bad."

"Hey, do you think there's a world out there where I get to be an astronaut? I've been thinking about it, and I think that's a possibility too."

So now they were up to four Olivias. The woman in her arms, the redhead who'd once stolen that woman's life, the one who made horses jump over things in Australia, and the astronaut incarnation. "I'm sure there's a place where you get to fly a space shuttle that doesn't blow up. Tell me about the band," Sarah requested, desperate for a semblance of normal conversation.

"My roommate in college liked them," Olivia said after a long pause. The woman who remembered everything clearly needed to search for the information. "Liked them, didn't like me."

"Why's that?"

"I wasn't into the drinking or the parties. I was there on a scholarship, trying to work. Her parents were paying every cent of her tuition, apparently not caring about the grades, since I never saw her study. Candlebox was the only thing we agreed on." Olivia chuckled then, whispering conspiratorially. "Listening to grungy rock music too loudly was my attempt at rebellion."

"I'm shocked they didn't throw you off campus."

"They wouldn't. There were other people in the dorms that made much more noise," Olivia replied, immune to the sarcasm. "Part of me always links this music with that first year at Northwestern. Me juggling books, my roommate juggling frat boys, us playing the damn Candlebox CDs so we wouldn't have to talk to each other. 1997, in a nutshell. What about you?"

"What about me what?"

"What were you listening to while I was listening to Candlebbox?"

Sarah sighed, a bitter hall-smile tugging at her lips. "I was in Pescadero in '97. Sometimes the orderlies would pump music into the dayroom." Dayroom meaning the large, white common area where patients occasionally congregated after they'd taken all their meds and could be trusted to sit at a table and stare at the walls without causing trouble. "'Tiny Bubbles,'" Sarah added.

"What?"

"'Tiny Bubbles'. When they did play music, that's all there was. That damn song, repeating for hours. They said it would keep us calm. Personally, I think it was supposed to make us suicidal, so there'd be a few less lunatics to worry about. I also think it worked most of the time."

Olivia's hold on Sarah tightened as she hid her face in the other woman's neck. "I wish I could've been there then. Helped you."

"You're here now," Sarah replied. "Mostly here. That's all I care about. So, you and the roommate listen to this song too? She dance to it with one of her frat boys while you hid behind your bocks?"

Olivia shook her head against Sarah's shoulder. "This is a later album, years after the roommate and the frat boys." Another pause. "Actually, it came out right before I joined Fringe. It was probably the last thing I got to listen to before I didn't have time for anything anymore. Suddenly life was nothing but Broyles calling me in, and floating bodies, and Walter with his old 45's. And his drugs," Olivia said with a laugh. "Always his drugs. You know, I never touched anything, not even pot because I was afraid the FBI wouldn't accept me if they found out I had. Then it's only after the FBI, after Fringe, that I do any drugs. That first year, when Walter was shooting me up with who knows what because I had to go in the tank every other day? Then the LSD, and now this? I never did drugs before the FBI, and now I'm tripping like I've never tripped before. Isn't that ironic?"

"Very," Sarah agreed, taking a few quick steps to keep her girlfriend from tripping in a more literal sense. She could've brought up the Cortexiphan trials Olivia was subjected to long before Fringe, but didn't see the point.

The music played. Sarah moved them with it. Olivia sighed into her shoulder. "Hey," the blonde murmured.

"Hey," Sarah repeated, stroking a hand through long hair.

"Sorry I came home stoned."

Sarah laughed a little at the solemnness in Olivia's tone, at the madness of it all. "Well. There was a month long stretch around Savannah's ninth birthday when you came home bruised bloody, or burned at least once a week. Between that and stoned, I'll take Walter's drugs any day. Besides, wasn't your fault."

Olivia nodded, kissing Sarah's shoulder-blade. "I'm sorry, you know."

"I told you, not your fault."

"No, I don't just mean today. This, my work, my friends, my _life _is insane. It's completely and utterly insane."

"And it took a Walter cocktail for you to realize this?"

"No, but the drugs have made it so clear. Everything's so _focused _now."

"It isn't, Olivia. Trust me."

"I've always trusted you, but that's not the point."

"Then what is? What are you apologizing for?"

"For _everything_. For bringing this crazy with me and putting it on you. You'll never have normal with all that weighing you down."

Sarah stopped their movement, pulling away so she'd have eye contact with Olivia. "Listen. I think…I _hope _you know this when you're mind's not full of the latest Bishop Special. My life? There was never going to be a normal, with or without you. I accepted that a long time ago, no matter what else I may say about it. Why do you think I can't fabricate a bio for 'normal' me? No point dwelling on something that never had a chance."

"You had to think about it at some point," the blonde insisted. "You didn't grow up knowing what would happen. Somewhere along the line, before Reese, you wanted something other than fighting machines and stopping a war."

Reese's name brought his face to her mind. Then he was replaced by Andy Goode. "Someone asked me that once, what I wanted to be before I threw on a waitress uniform. I told him I didn't remember, and that was true. At the time."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean _you_. I didn't remember until you. I don't even know what we were talking about, but you said something to me, I said something back, and it just came back to me. When I was little, I wanted to be a vet. By the time I went to college I'd realized I wasn't smart enough for that-"

"Don't say that. It's not true."

The conviction in that statement was impossible to miss. Smiling a little, Sarah pushed a blonde strand from Olivia's eyes. "Fine, I could've been anything I wanted when I grew up. Even if that were true, I didn't want the vet thing anymore. Didn't want to see all the animals I couldn't save die. Which is more irony for you, considering how my life turned out. But that's what I'm telling you. Normal was never an option. The closest thing I have to that is you. You made me remember something I'd lost. You make me remember that I'm something other than the Mother of the Future."

Olivia shook her head. "You never needed me for that."

"Liv, I did. I _do_. For that and a million other things. Yes, you brought your own insanity into this thing between us. Yes, your crazy mixes with mine and yes, it's a lot to deal with sometimes. But I deal with it _because _ofyou. You're what makes sense when nothing else does. Whatever part of me does feel normal, it's there because of you."

"John and Savannah-"

"Mean everything," Sarah finished, cutting across her. "So do you. I can't lean on John or Savannah, not really. They're kids, and they've been through enough already. You're the one keeping me sane. You did that when there were machines and shapeshifters, and two worlds trying to destroy each other. You keep things in perspective, stop them from falling apart. It doesn't matter if it's machines or Massive Dynamic…your crazy mixes with mine," she reiterated. "Fairly well, when you look at the last few years as a whole. But when things _do_ blow up, you're the one who covers me. You're the constant. _My _constant. You always have been."

"Even when I'm stoned?"

"Even then."

"You mean it?"

"I never lie to you, Liv."

Sarah saw the play of emotions on Olivia's face, watched her digest the words. Then Olivia leaned close again, cupping Sarah's neck and pulling her into a kiss. It was good, tender. Olivia let Sarah take more of her weight than usual, let herself be helped, and it was good. The music played, Olivia's fingers combed through her hair, then the blonde broke contact, keeping their foreheads together.

"I love you so much," she said, breath slightly ragged as it mixed with Sarah's.

"I love you too," Sarah promised, stroking Olivia's cheek. "You _do_ seem a little clearer now." She'd at least stopped trying to rip Nina's arm off.

"I do," Olivia agreed. "You do that too, you know. Make things clearer. Everything you said, that's what you do for me."

"Good to know."

Olivia nodded, murmuring low in her throat as she pressed even closer to Sarah. "Hey."

"Hey," Sarah repeated, voice heavy with emotion.

"Let's have sex."

Sarah eased back, rolling her eyes at the quick shift in mood. "Jesus, Olivia."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just…nothing."

"All right. Let's have sex."

"You're still high. I thought for a minute that the stuff might be wearing off, but clearly that's not happening."

"So? You think I wouldn't want you if I wasn't high? I _always_ want you. I want you in the mornings, I want you when we have dinner, I want you when I'm at work, I want you when we buy groceries-"

"Okay, I get it, I get it. But Liv-"

"I'm just saying, drugs have nothing to do with it. I think I even want you when I'm sleeping."

"Olivia-"

"I'll prove it. Walter can put me to sleep, and you just stay close. Then he can measure how turned on you make me, even when-"

"Olivia!" Sarah didn't want to be accused of yelling again, but there was only so much she could take. She worked to make her voice level, without total success. "Even on a normal day-"

"I thought we didn't do normal."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "Even on what passes for a normal day in our lives, which this isn't. Even then, mentioning Walter while begging me for sex? Counterproductive."

Olivia stuck out her bottom lip. Then she leaned forward, carefully taking _Sarah's _bottom lip into her mouth. "I didn't know I ever had to beg," she said, punctuating the words with gentle nips to soft flesh. "But I will if you want. If that's what it takes."

Sarah moaned, her internal cursing taking on a different flavor. Olivia tasted faintly of peanut butter. Did that mean the remnants of whatever she'd been dosed with still lingered on her tongue, the tongue that was now doing terrible, gorgeous things to Sarah's self-control? She tried to picture herself in Olivia's state, the both of them like that. The image wouldn't come. Her mind had formed a protective block.

The blonde ended their kiss before Sarah could find a next move. Olivia's lips went to her neck, licking, sucking, biting gently. Her voice was muffled by Sarah's collarbone, but the tone was almost conversational.

"I don't understand why you're so upset about Walter and Nina. How long they've known each other, those looks we sometimes catch? We all knew they got down to business at some point."

Olivia's hands roamed all over. Sarah squirmed under them, an unhealthy mixture of desire and revulsion churning within her. "Suspecting something-"

"You knew. We all knew. Except maybe Savannah, but she would've figured it out eventually. She's growing up so fast," Olivia added fondly.

There was no way of expressing how wrong this was. "_Knowing _something intellectually and actually hearing about it are two different things. Also, talking about Savannah just now? Impossibly worse than talking about Walter."

Olivia nipped at Sarah's earlobe, continuing as though she hadn't spoken. "Hey, you ever wonder about Bell? Because whenever Walter or Nina talk about their pasts, it's never just the two of them. Belly's always there too. Or _William_," Olivia added, doing a frighteningly accurate imitation of Nina's voice. "Always a trio. And with all the free love and the drugs, and Nina clearly in love with _William_, don't you think the three of them together would've tried-"

That was it. _That _was finally too much. Trapping both of Olivia's hands, Sarah brought them together, forcing them still. "Liv, I can't go there. Whatever wonderful possibilities Walter's opened up for you, _I _can't go there. My ability to deal with your half of the crazy? That depends on my being able to look Walter and Nina in the face again at some point. Do you get that?"

Olivia stared. Nodded slowly. "Got it. Let's have sex."

Sarah swore. Olivia pulled at her hands and Sarah loosened her grip. They both had issues with any sort of restraint, and Sarah would be careful of that, even if Olivia was too far gone to care.

Twisting her fingers within Sarah's, Olivia brought the brunette's hand to her lips, repeating an earlier gesture. This one wasn't brief, though. Tenderly, the blonde feathered her mouth against Sarah's wrist and knuckles.

"Please?" she said, kissing the tip of Sarah's forefinger.

Sarah closed her eyes, biting back the curses.

"Please?" Olivia asked, lowering her voice. "Please, Sarah?" Olivia drew the tip of Sarah's finger into her mouth, sucking lightly.

Sarah went completely still, shivering despite the heat from Olivia's mouth.

"_Please_?" Olivia repeated, lower than ever. With a soft pop, she released one finger and moved on to the next.

Sarah sucked in air through her teeth as Olivia's tongue swirled against her skin. There were better places for that mouth to be.

"_Please, Sarah_?" Olivia begged, moving from one digit to the next. "I wouldn't ask you if I didn't need you."

Son of a bitch. Sarah shivered again, harder than before. This was insane, wrong, and unfair. Very, _very _unfair.

* * *

It seemed to take forever for Olivia to drag her eyes open. Everything felt fuzzy and weighted down, and she had only the vaguest idea of where she was. The sheets smelled like Sarah, that was her clue. Cracking one eye, she found herself in bed alone, with no recollection of how she'd gotten there. Her stomach rolled unpleasantly, and when she touched her face and pillow, she found moisture.

Jesus. Had she slept with her mouth open?

She sat up slowly, but the world still spun. Gripping the covers in a vain attempt at balance, Olivia was hit by an image that felt more dream than memory.

_She was on her knees, gripping those same covers. Sarah held her from behind, saying things Olivia couldn't hear. Sarah whispered and moved with her and…laughed? Why would she laugh?_

Olivia wasn't sure, but when she let the blankets fall away from her torso, she found nothing but skin, and certain parts of her anatomy were calling attention to themselves in a way that wasn't typical.

Pleasantly sore, Olivia stood up gingerly, shivering against the cold. The curtains were drawn, but light still came through. It felt like morning, but how could that be? Last she remembered…what _was _the last thing she remembered?

Lunch. Late lunch with Astrid and the Bishops. So how had she gotten from there to here? She turned on her way to their bathroom, observing the tangled mess of the bedding. Definitely sex then. Olivia shivered again, but not from the cold. She had a feeling that the sex had been very, _very _good, even for them. If only she could remember.

In the bathroom, Olivia saw what a mess she truly was. Her long hair was a tangle of knots, and there were creases from the pillow showing as red marks along her face. Her head throbbed along with her heartbeat. .

What in the hell had she _done _last night?

The cool air was spreading goose bumps along exposed flesh. The nearest piece of clothing was Sarah's robe, hanging on a rod near the shower. Olivia took it, wrapping it around herself and knotting the front, feeling slightly better. The scent and feel of Sarah was even stronger now, and she tried to focus on that as she wet her face and drank from a cup near the sink. Her mouth felt dry as the Mexican deserts she'd visited with Sarah, but she forced herself to take small sips. Even that made her stomach protest, and she had to stand at the bathroom counter for long moments, holding the edge to keep herself steady.

Was this a hangover? Didn't feel like one, not exactly, and she didn't drink enough to get hangovers, especially in the middle of the week.

Shit.

Fast as she could without puking, Olivia crossed back to the bedroom. The clock on the nightstand said it was quarter past seven. Quarter past seven on…Wednesday? Thursday? What the hell had she _drank_? Either way, Olivia was reasonably sure she was supposed to be at work in less than an hour. She'd learned to accept and work around difficult situations before she'd hit puberty, but getting herself to something like functional in the next forty minutes felt impossible.

Leaving the bedroom, she heard Sarah's familiar tones. Head aching with every step, she followed them to the main room. Sarah was dressed already, standing behind the counter with a phone in her hand. Her voice was low, but she raised it slightly on seeing that Olivia was awake.

"Yeah," she said, watching her partner enter the room. "Good, I'm glad."

There was a lull in Sarah's side of the conversation as Olivia joined her behind the counter. Sarah used this time to mouth the word 'Savannah.' Olivia nodded, having no idea why the girl wasn't here. Nodding made the headache worse, so she stopped, pressing a hand to her forehead.

"No," Sarah said into the phone. "Not the creepy ones."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, but Sarah seemed to ignore it. A slow smirk curved the brunette's lips as her eyes traveled over the blonde. 'Thief' was mouthed just before Sarah addressed Savannah again.

"Well tell Astrid thanks again. Yes, she's up. No, I won't, and neither will you. _No. _Yeah. Soon. All right. I'll see you later." Ending the call, Sarah pocketed her cell, still wearing that lazy smirk. "That's mine," she said, nodding towards the robe.

"You can have it if you tell me why I feel like I got hit by a truck."

"You can keep it," Sarah replied, briefly touching the pillow marks on Olivia's cheek. "Looks better on you anyway. The truck's name was Walter. Any bells ringing yet?"

Olivia thought about it. Her memories were still muddled, but she wasn't remotely surprised that Walter had played a role in that. "No. And the last time my mind did this, I was being brainwashed in another universe."

The edge of fear in her voice sobered Sarah quickly. "Nothing that bad," she promised. "You remember lunch yesterday?"

"Yeah, and then the remembering stops."

"Walter grabbed your sandwich by mistake. Or maybe you took his, but it's probably better if we blame Walter. He dumped an experimental drug on his food, because that's what Walter does, and ended up dosing you instead."

Olivia frowned deeply. "You're saying I was drugged?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah. Very drugged. But it was accidental, and there was no brainwashing, if that makes you feel any better. And don't worry about work; Astrid's already talked to Broyles."

The blonde's eyes went wide. "Talked to him," she repeated. "About me being drugged?"

"Relax, she said he was fine about it. Not _thrilled _obviously, but he understands the hazards of spending any time with Walter."

"Yeah, I guess he would."

"Speaking of, you're not going to like this part. Savannah knows about Broyles accidentally taking LSD. She also knows you and Peter did it on purpose. And that I experimented with marijuana thirty years ago. Basically, she thinks all those meetings we had about keeping the world from blowing up ended with some kind of drug circle where we all got high together. Except for Astrid, who somehow always manages to stay above the crazy."

Olivia braced herself against the counter, rubbing roughly at her eyes. "Terrific. Astrid has Savannah now?"

Sarah nodded. "Apparently Savannah learned how to decode terrorist manifestos yesterday. Not the creepy ones, so she says, just the _regular_ terrorist manifestos. No one can say we're not giving her a well-rounded education."

"What else?" Olivia asked.

"What else what?"

"Don't do that. I can see it in your face. What else happened?"

Sarah studied Olivia, correctly guessing that she couldn't put it off. "Remember when you used to tell me how much you hated the tank?"

"How could I forget? And why are you asking?"

"You don't seem to hate it as much when you're drugged," Sarah replied carefully before explaining what happened at Massive Dynamic.

"_Nina _was there? Our Nina. Nina _Sharp_."

"I refuse to think of her as _our _Nina, but yes."

"Nina Sharp saw me like that," Olivia muttered, more to herself than to Sarah. "God. _Fuck_!"

Sarah fought a smirk, amused in spite of herself at seeing her lover off-balance. "She won't be bringing it up again. Trust me."

Olivia's gaze sharpened. "Why? What did I do to her?"

The smirk turned to a grimace as Sarah remembered the mass revulsion that came with hearing about Nina Sharp's sex life. "We'll cover that later."

"Sarah-"

"Liv," the brunette responded, just sharp enough to end the argument. "It's too early for me to drink, so we'll cover it later."

Olivia might've pressed the issue if the thought of alcohol hadn't distracted her. Her stomach did somersaults and she leaned forward a bit, breathing deeply as she clutched at it. "What did I take? Why's my stomach trying to shred itself?"

Sarah went to the blonde, placing an arm around her shoulders. "You ate a lot. Most of it was stuff that's not meant to be had in the same sitting."

"Don't mention food," Olivia said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," Sarah murmured, taking hold of Olivia's arm. "Come here. Just sit down, try to relax."

Sarah led her to the kitchen table, pulling out a chair. Olivia dropped into it, keeping her head down and her eyes closed until the worst of the nausea had passed. Sarah backed off, giving her room. Eventually the blonde raised a hand, beckoning Sarah forward again.

"Kill me," she ordered," leaning her pounding head against Sarah's abdomen.

"Rather not," the brunette countered, combing gentle fingers through tangled locks and dropping a kiss there. "Peter dropped off a bottle of something last night. It's in the fridge. He says it might take the edge off."

"Might?"

"We're talking about counteracting something that Walter made. Which means it's probably strong enough to knock out a horse."

Olivia groaned, clutching at Sarah's shirt. "Can't drink anything now, I'll be sick if I breathe wrong."

Sarah hummed in sympathy, drawing mindless shapes on Olivia's neck and shoulders. "Guess I'll cancel our date then."

Olivia looked up, squinting. Sarah's face was neutral, but the damn smirk was still audible. "What date? Did we make plans?"

"_You _did, yes. With Peter and Liv."

Olivia blinked. Hearing her alternate's name on her girlfriend's lips would've tripped her up even if her mind was clear. "Peter and Liv," she repeated slowly, trying to make the words fit together.

"Peter and Liv," Sarah confirmed. "Double date. Apparently we don't socialize enough with other couples."

Olivia felt her mouth dropping open, but couldn't prevent it. "Why…Peter's _seeing _her again?"

"According to you, yeah."

"Are you going to explain, or keep torturing me?"

"Both?" Before Olivia could reply, "Peter felt guilty about what happened. He brought over his best attempt to help. When he did, you shoved him into a chair and grabbed at his neck. I thought you were trying to strangle him at first, then you quit that and gave him your blessing to date Liv." Off Olivia's increasingly mortified look. "You said he had a hickey."

It took several moments for Olivia to formulate a response. "Why…even if he _did, _why would I assume it came from Liv?"

"Your words? 'Of course he's dating her. She's the closest he'll ever get to me. Why would he waste time with anyone else when he could have me?'"

Olivia swore again. Loudly.

"Incidentally, that was the most logical thing you said all night. So, do I cancel the tennis then?"

"_Tennis_?"

Sarah nodded. "You and I against Peter and Liv. Doubles. Double date. You seemed to think this was clever."

"_Tennis_? Why the hell would I ask them to play tennis?"

"I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why this specific point is what you're getting hung up on, after all I've told you."

More quiet cursing stopped only after Olivia's stomach flipped again. Sarah held her, made soothing noises that would've been more effective if she wasn't getting so much pleasure from retelling Olivia's suffering.

"Ask," Sarah prompted after the latest bout of nausea had passed.

"Ask what?"

"You know what. Just ask."

Olivia blew out a breath. "_Was _there a hickey?"

"There was a mark, and it was on his neck. But, I'd guess he's had it for about two years now."

"You guess?"

"The thing with the lizards, wasn't that two years ago? One of your last cases with Fringe. After the quicksand."

"No, the quicksand was _before _the lizards. I thought the lizard bite was the hickey?"

"You did. So, no on the tennis? Because I was starting to look forward to watching you and Liv running around in those stupid outfits, serving each other."

Olivia opened her mouth to swear again, halting when a muffled ringing hit her ears. "Is that my phone?"

Sarah eased back from her. Crossing to the living room, the brunette reached under one of the couch cushions, holding up the cell as she retraced her steps. By then the noise had stopped.

"Were you hiding it?"

"I was _protecting _you from it," Sarah retorted. "Or protecting the people on the other end, I'm not sure which." A pause, for effect. "Drunk texting, but with hallucinogenic drugs. It wasn't pretty."

Olivia groaned as Sarah tried to pass her the phone, lifting a hand in refusal. "I can't…I can't look at that right now. Just tell me who called."

Obediently, Sarah checked the screen. "Rachel. She also texted you. 'Next time, just say no,'" Sarah read, without trying to conceal her amusement.

"God. No," Olivia refuted, covering her face with her hands. "I wouldn't contact her like that. Even with something Walter made, I'd know better than to talk to her like that."

"Surprisingly you're right. You did know better."

"Then why-"

"Savannah was calling Ella right as I kicked her out of here. Ella must've said something to Rachel."

"Fuck! I don't…" Olivia fumed silently for a moment, lost for words. "All I hear from Rachel anymore is that Ella won't talk to her about anything. Ella says that Rachel wants to know every little detail of her life. _Now _they're back on speaking terms?"

Sarah shrugged. "Family's important. Maybe you should be happy that you've helped bridge the gap."

Olivia scowled as Sarah placed her phone on the table. "I'm glad you find this so entertaining. Do you have any idea what kind of field day Rachel will have with this? Do you know what I'll have to listen to?"

"No, but I'll find out soon enough. Savannah's birthday. Two weeks. Rachel will be there. Along with everyone else."

"Cancel it."

"No."

"Forget the damn party. Savannah doesn't want it anyway."

"You're the one who told me she was lying about that."

"And you hated me for it."

"I hated the idea of the party, not you. And we're not cancelling it, because I've spent the last three weeks steeling myself for all the misery involved, so we have to go through with it."

"That doesn't make any sense," Olivia argued, only half-joking about cancelling the plans.

"Liv. _Baby? _After yesterday, you've lost the right to decide what makes sense. At least until I'm sure you've gotten over your drug use."

Something in that second word, the way Sarah said it, flipped a switch in Olivia's mind. "I called you a lot of names yesterday, didn't I?"

Olivia's hand was clenching on the table. Sarah took it, brought it to her lips. "You did. Nothing too terrible, just nothing you usually say outside our bedroom. Everything else that happened, I didn't mind that part much, but I think Savannah was a little nauseated."

Bedroom. Everything else. That pleasant ache in her body. "Did we sleep together last night?"

Sarah shook her head. "And now we've reached a point where you can't remember sex with me. Great."

"I hardly remember _anything_. I remember you touching me, I remember you _laughing _while you did it, and not much else."

"Not much else to remember, at least about that part of the evening."

Olivia squinted, wracked her memory. Sarah's face became impossible to read. "Did I…fall asleep on you?" the blonde asked, afraid of the answer. She knew Sarah had touched her. What should've come after, those memories weren't there.

"Sleeping wasn't it. It was more like you passed out."

"What?"

"You were flying pretty high, don't say a word about the pun. You kept saying your senses were overloaded. You came, then you were out."

"And you…I never…reciprocated?"

"One, stop talking like we haven't been fucking as long as we have. Two, do you remember reciprocating?"

"Don't do this. Just tell me."

Sarah leaned a hip casually against the table. "If asking for a sandwich after qualifies as reciprocation. Apparently we've been fucking even longer than I realized."

"That didn't happen."

"Do you remember it not happening?"

"I would never, _ever _do that to you."

"Tennis. Liv and Peter. You told Peter that Astrid would jump universes and watch Henry for the night."

"A _sandwich_?"

"Cheese and mustard on sourdough. Nothing else. Does that sound like a combination I'd normally come up with to you?"

Olivia sat for long moments, horrified. Then Sarah's face split into a grin, her laughter filling the kitchen. That sound, which usually warmed Olivia's heart, caused her to lash out.

"Damn you!" she hissed, swinging weakly at Sarah's arms. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks, reddening the skin there. "_Dammit_, Sarah!"

Blocking Olivia's half-hearted attack, Sarah caught both the blonde's wrists, bringing them together. Intertwining their fingers, Sarah leaned down, finding Olivia's mouth. "I almost forgot how you get when you're flustered," she said after the kiss broke. "All the swearing and violence." Olivia tried to move again, and Sarah tightened her grip. "Uh-uh," she chastised. "Hold still. I'd rather you didn't throw up on me."

"If I did, you'd deserve it. That was cruel."

"_That_ was payback."

She shouldn't ask. Didn't want to ask. Didn't think she could handle the answer. "Payback for what, specifically?"

"Specifically? You said my pancakes were bad."

Olivia froze, completely still in Sarah's hold.

"_Flat _is what you actually said."

"Are you lying again?"

"I never lie to you. You _did _ask for a sandwich, after you _reciprocated_. And you _did _offer that critique after I've been making you pancakes for…how long now?"

"You're serious?"

"Ask Astrid when she drops off Savannah. Or Nina. The Bishops. Also, Savannah says that if we break up over this, she's going to live with James. Doesn't want us fighting over custody."

"I…Sarah." For God's sake, why couldn't she use full sentences?

"Olivia?"

"You can't…clearly I was out of my mind. You said yourself; I took something meant for _Walter_. You can't take anything I said seriously."

"Really? Because you also said that last night was the best sex you'd ever had. So much for that, huh?" Sarah maintained her poker face a few seconds longer this time, watching Olivia squirm. When she laughed again, Olivia glared and blushed simultaneously.

"You need to stop now. I can't take any more of this."

Sarah made a noncommittal noise, freeing one hand to run it through blonde hair. "That's what you said last night, right before you passed out."

"You're serious about that too?"

"Don't stress about it. You were…extra sensitive, but you did fine after that second wind. Actually, you were more focused than I thought you'd be, all things considered."

"Well great. That makes me feel so much better," Olivia groused. "I love your pancakes, you know."

"So you say."

"I do."

"So you say."

"I'll make it up to you," Olivia promised. Leaning up for a kiss, she stopped when a spike of pain lanced through her temple. "Dammit," she hissed, rubbing at her head. "Sometime I hate Walter."

"I know," Sarah replied, nipping briefly at Olivia's bottom lip. "So why don't we work on getting you standing first? The making up can come later."

"Good plan," Olivia mumbled. She gave herself a few seconds before asking Sarah to help her up.

"You good?" Sarah asked once she was vertical.

"Relatively. Dizziness is gone at least. I hate Walter."

"I know."

Crossing to the fridge, Olivia removed a small pitcher of clear liquid. She might've mistaken it for water, but the consistency was different. Also, the pitcher featured a depiction of Spongebob Squarepants. "So this is Peter's antidote," she mused, cautiously pouring herself half a glass worth. "He say what's in it?"

"He did, but do you honestly expect me to understand any of what he said?"

"Right."

Sarah watched in bemusement as Olivia sipped the concoction, nearly choking as she swallowed it down.

"I'm not drinking that," Olivia said roughly, leaving glass and pitcher on the counter. "I'll gut it out, go through withdrawal, whatever happens now. Be easier that way."

"So, it doesn't compare to sourdough and mustard?"

Swearing silently, Olivia grabbed a napkin, dabbing at the vile liquid at the corner of her mouth. Crushing it between her fingers, she went to the trash, pausing as she opened the lid. "Sarah? Why are there a bunch of Bryan Adams CDs in the trash?"

Sarah sighed, consulting the ceiling as she prepped for the inevitable. "You just can't let me have that drink first, can you? Fine. Just don't blame me when you can never look at that Harvard statue again."


End file.
